He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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