he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
