She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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