I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
