theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
