how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Randomize
