you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
