This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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