Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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