just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
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