you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
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