We should be called the Road Head Warriors
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Randomize
