His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Randomize
