Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
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