then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
