mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
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