Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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