Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Randomize
