There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
