I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
