Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
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