I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
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