ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
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