u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
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