ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
Randomize
