She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
