The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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