fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Randomize
