i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
