So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
