dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Randomize
