Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
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