He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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