I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Randomize
