ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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