Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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