I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Randomize
