Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Randomize