Just mADE A PArabola og urine
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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