we have officially lost it.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
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