he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
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