margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
