i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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