med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
