She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
i just made my gag reflex go away.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
