Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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