it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
