did you get engaged???
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Randomize
