just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Randomize
