Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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