Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize