What did we do last night that was yellow?
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Im part way to drunk.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
