I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Randomize
