I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
ttyl tear gas
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize