my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
