I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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