She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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