she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I'm gonna fight the coyote
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
