oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
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