You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
