dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
